


Soon

by Blue_Robin



Category: Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hope, Kisses, Love, Pining, Requited Love, Sweet, fluffy fluff fluff, love letter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-30 00:30:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17213744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Robin/pseuds/Blue_Robin
Summary: I found a prompt on Tumblr that inspired this. It was a list of ways to say I love you and I liked the idea of doing it in a letter.I hope you enjoy it as well.





	1. Chapter 1

Cormoran,

First, I’m sorry I’m not there with you to say all of this. I have no excuse really, except that I’ve tried multiple times to say these things and they never come out. Probably because I’m afraid of how you’ll respond. 

This sabbatical was meant to help me clear my mind in so many ways, and it has, thank goodness. The meditations I’ve been doing have helped. I feel less like a rickety house on stilts, waiting for the next gust of wind to cause me to collapse. 

At this moment I feel like a house on a cliff, looking out to the sea and waiting for the next sunrise. Hope shining through the rays of dawn. 

Imagery is a big part of the guided meditations here. I kind of like it. 

Somehow though, I haven’t been able to clear my mind of you. 

I love you, you see.

I’m fairly certain I have for awhile now. I don’t really know when it started. I just know that it did and after years of repressing it, ignoring it, hiding from it, I don’t want to hide anymore. 

I don’t know how you feel about me, but I’m hoping the things I’ve felt from you aren’t in my imagination. 

Ilsa swears they aren’t. But Ilsa has the softest heart of any lawyer I’ve ever met and she’s so in love with Nick that I fear she just wants everyone she loves to have someone to love them. (Aren’t we lucky she loves us though?)

I’m sitting here in my room, with the windows open, the breeze is blowing the curtains on either side of my writing desk and it feels so good on my face. I should be outside, hiking with the other guests here. Reveling in nature and being one with the wind or whatever the guide was chirping about at breakfast...

But instead I’m sat here comparing the blue of the sky at the horizon to the dark of your eyes when I catch you watching me. 

I catch a whiff of cigarette smoke and I turn to look for you. 

Every day there’s something I want to share with you. I find myself reaching for my phone to call or text you but I can’t because they have our phones locked away since we’re meant to be “finding” ourselves here. 

But I have found myself I’ve realized. I found myself the moment I saw the door to your office. I just hadn’t realized it. 

Every case I work has uncovered more of me. Digging me out of the hole I’d buried myself in after leaving uni. I’ve never felt so strong as I have when I find a tidbit that helps move a case in the right direction. 

And I wouldn’t have that feeling without you. 

I miss you so much. The way you make my tea. The way your eyes crinkle at me when I say something you think is funny. The way you always know what I want to drink and the way you don’t mind when I don’t feel like talking. 

I’ve never felt so comfortable with silence as I am when I’m with you. Maybe because though it’s silent, I know I’m not alone. 

I miss you Cormoran. 

I’ll be coming home soon.

Robin xx


	2. Chapter 2

Robin,

 

I was delighted to get your letter yesterday. I’m practically bursting that you’ve finally told him how you feel. Nick shouted so loud when I read that part to him. Naturally anything you need we’ll help with.

Have you heard from him yet? We’ve not heard a peep. I don’t even know if he’s gotten the letter. And honestly, I’m not sure he’d let us know if he had. We’re supposed to have dinner with him this evening, so I’ll wait to send this until after so that if I have more to add I can. I’ll try to winkle something out of him.

Don’t worry. I’ll be subtle.

Ricky and Ossie are doing well. They’ve gotten huge. Not fat. Nick would never allow that. He monitors their diet scrupulously, you know. 😊 But they’re almost fully grown now and so funny.

We miss you terribly. I know it’s only been two months, but it feels like it’s been so much longer. But I’m proud of you for taking this step. You’ve had a lot to deal with over the last couple years and it makes so much sense for you to need to step away and breathe, as you put it.

The exercises sound interesting. Maybe you could show me some of the yoga and meditations when you come home. Goodness knows I could use a new way to relieve stress. Maybe we could join a yoga studio together. I’m always happy to spend time with you.

I was reading an article the other day and about empaths. And the more I read the more I thought of you. Based on that article I think you must be an empath. Did you know that?

Empaths can feel the emotions of others and are usually able to help the people around them balance their emotions. The more I read the more I felt like I was reading about you. Corm always says that you’re the most restful person he knows, and I must agree. I always feel so much better after spending time with you.

The article also said that empaths can also absorb too much emotion from others and that it can be debilitating. I wonder if that might not be part of what caused you to need this break.

Regardless, I’m happy that you’re feeling better and more stable. Nick and I adore you and want to see you happy and healthy again.

More later…

I swear, I know he’s my oldest and best friend, but sometimes I’d like to strangle him. He took none of my hints and let nothing drop. Though I know he knows what I was trying to find out. I must assume he’s gotten your letter. Especially because I read him part of the one you sent us, and he nodded through most of it like he’d already heard it all.

I’m truly sorry Robin. I wish I had more information to give you. But you know how he can be. So frustratingly closemouthed.

Nick said we should try to get him drunk, but he seemed to actually be avoiding alcohol tonight. And he didn’t have but two fags the entire time he was at the house. Maybe he’s trying to cut down on both. I don’t know.

But do please keep us posted. And let me know as soon as you know when you’re coming home so I can meet you at the train unless you’ve made other arrangements. I’m just anxious to see you and see for myself that you’re OK.

Did I mention that I miss you terribly?

All my love, Nick’s as well, and I’ve enclosed some purrs from the kitties,

Ilsa x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The article I think Ilsa read can be found [here](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/dp3jva/what-its-like-to-be-an-empath-hsp-psychic-new-age)


	3. Chapter 3

Robin,

I’m sorry it took me so long to respond. I just wasn’t sure how. I think by now we both know that I’m a complete and utter tit when it comes to sharing my feelings. If I wasn’t you’d already know how I feel about you. I’ll try, though, to make it clear here.

These past three months have been torture.

I’ve started to hate the office, because you aren’t there. I walk through the door and I can’t smell your perfume anymore. I’ve experienced that before, when I sacked you, but this time it’s so much worse. Because it’s been so long. It’s like the office itself is as lonely for you as I am.

I miss the way the sun glints in your hair when we’re walking to the Tottenham.

I miss the way your nose scrunches when you laugh at me.

I miss the shape of your lips when you smile and the blue to grey of your eyes when you’re arguing with me about a case.

I miss looking at your lips and wondering if they’re as soft as I thought they were when I accidentally kissed you outside the hospital. That’s been the only mystery I’ve wanted to solve since it happened.

I miss walking out of my office and seeing you, making tea, or taking off your coat, typing away at your desk. Just seeing you.

I miss the brush of your fingers against mine when you hand me my tea. Or when I hand you yours.

I miss your voice, hearing it through the day, even when you aren’t talking to me.

I could continue this list for pages.

I’ve been in love with you for what feels like ages, Robin. I’m sure it started sometime during the Landry case, though I’ve tried so hard to stop it. At first because you were engaged, and then because I was sure you would need space after your divorce.

Then it just never seemed like the right time. And I worried that so much time had passed that if you weren’t interested, it would ruin our friendship and partnership and that was the last thing I wanted. I’d reached a point where having you in my life, in any way, was better than risking losing you completely.

What a coward I’ve been.

I hate that I can’t touch you now. I’d give anything to see your face. To look into your eyes as I tell you that I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.

I understand why you had to go away though. And I’m pleased to hear that you’re feeling steadier. I know how it feels to be that house on stilts. After Afghanistan I was a wreck and I don’t know how I found the strength to carry on. Though now that I think about it, I think it must have been Ilsa, pushing me and refusing to let me give up.

You were so right to say that we’re lucky she loves us. We really are. And I suppose I need to tell her that. Since I’ve started putting my feelings into words. I’ll send her a letter as well. She’ll like that.

Please tell me when you’ll be home.

I miss you.

C x


	4. Chapter 4

Ilsa,

I have some things I need to say to you and I’ve chosen to do it here because honestly, I’m not sure either of us could get through what I have to say without falling apart, and then I’d never be able to finish. And I need to say it all.

You are, without exception, the absolute best friend I’ve ever had. I don’t remember meeting you, not the way I remember meeting Chum or Nick, or Robin even. You were just there. Always.

And that’s how it’s been. Ilsa in my corner. Ilsa in my life. Ilsa hugging me when everything else was falling apart. You’ve been a constant through my entire life.

Usually men are perceived to be the “rocks” but you have been a fucking cliff. You’ve never once let me down. You’ve never once made me feel like I’m not as important to you as you are to me, though I don’t think I’ve been as good at making you feel that way.

I was thinking about Afghanistan the other day and losing my leg and how close I came to losing everything. How desperately I just wanted to give up when I woke up in hospital. But you refused to let me. You pushed and pushed, even when Nick tried to stop you. Because you knew I needed it. You knew I needed to hear what you said that day.

I think it’s the only time I’ve ever heard you use language like that.

I think it’s the only time I’ve ever seen Nick blush that red.

The times you helped me at rehab. Just being there, glaring at me when I was rude. Refusing to go away even when I yelled at you.

The way you’ve never mentioned the times I cried with my head in your lap. After Mom died.

Those nights in hospital when you refused to leave because you sensed that I’d have done something drastic if you hadn’t been there to prevent it.

You’ve never judged me. You’ve never made me feel less than the person I’ve always been with you. You’ve never pitied me.

The way you always said what needed to be said about Charlotte, but never got angry with me when I inevitably went back to her. The way you welcomed her, even when I know you didn’t want to, when I knew you hated her for everything she’d done to me.

And now, for the way you’ve embraced Robin and pushed me to face my feelings for her. You’ll be pleased to know she and I are on the same page now. No more miscommunications. No more avoidance.

I guess what I’m trying to say, so terribly, is, I love you Ilsa. I love you so much and I’m so thankful that you’re my best friend. I don’t deserve you but I’m grateful you’re just kind enough to overlook that. I’m sorry that I’m grumpy and snarky and rude. But I love you so much. And I felt like it was time you knew that.

No…go dry your eyes and tuck this away somewhere for my future godchildren to find.

I’ll see you soon.

C x


	5. Chapter 5

Cormoran,

I’ll be home tomorrow.

Love,

Robin

 

Robin closed her notebook on her scribbled note and smiled to herself as she glanced around the small room she’d become fond of over the last three months of solitude.

She was oddly sad to leave, but she was also ready to go home. Ready to see Cormoran, Ilsa, Nick, Shanker and everyone she’d missed these last months.

This little room had become her haven and she felt safe within the walls. At first, she was afraid she’d feel the same way she did after leaving uni. Shut away from the world. Like she was hiding. But it was immediately clear that wasn’t going to be the case upon her arrival.

She’d been encouraged to mingle with the other guests, to walk when she wanted to walk, swim when she wanted to swim, take advantage of the classes and facilities at any time. She’d quickly made friends with a few of the other women and together they’d explored the grounds and classes. And had exchanged email addresses so they could keep in touch after leaving.

Her bi-weekly sessions with her coach had helped her understand how to shut off her mind and relax, how to center herself so that she could take out each issue and look at it clearly, before either dealing with it or filing it back in its compartment to be examined again later. Their discussions had covered myriad different topics from the rape, to the Shacklewell Ripper attack, to Raff holding her at gun point, Matthew’s infidelities and her reasons for staying with him despite everything.

She’d come to understand things about herself that she’d hidden away. She’d learned that she’d been drifting for most of her relationship with Matthew. She’d let him take the lead in everything because it was safer for her if he did. It had been another coping mechanism. One that was tricky and sneaky. One he’d taken full advantage of, whether he realized it or not.

And in realizing that she’d realized that the only person she knew who hadn’t tried to guide her decisions in anything had been her partner. This had led to her realizing that her life had indeed changed the moment Cormoran had grasped her breast that first day, hauling her back from the stairs, and into his office.

He’d grudgingly accepted her presence that first day but then as her first week had worn on she’d found herself becoming more and more interested in his process. More and more anxious to show him what she was capable of.

Excited to give him an idea she’d had.

Delighted to see his eyes light up with interest.

Overjoyed to have him tell her he wanted her to stay the next week. And then the next. And then agree that she could just stay. Permanently.

He’d encouraged her insights from the first, treating her thoughts as important as his own. Advising her on cases only when she asked or indicated she was stymied. He’d never made her feel like he thought he was superior to anyone, much less her.

The office they shared was now more home to her than either of the flats she’d shared with Matthew. Cormoran, himself, more interesting and enjoyable company than anyone she’d ever met.

These realizations had led her to the thing she’d been hiding from herself for longer than she wanted to admit. And now, tomorrow, she’d be seeing him for the first time since their mutual declarations.

He didn’t know she was coming home. She’d wanted to keep it a surprise. For them both.  

She glanced around the tiny room again, ensuring she’d left nothing out of her packing.

She nodded once, picked up her notebook and pen and slid them into her bag, then grasped the handle of her suitcase and started from the room.

Shoulders back. Head held high.

Determination written all over her face.

The next phase of her life was about to start, and she was going to meet it head on.


	6. Chapter 6

Cormoran sighed as he started the process of shutting down his computer for the day. He’d been depressed to find nothing from Robin in the post that morning and had spent the day ruminating on the difficulty of communicating with her while she was away.  
He wanted her home.  
He wanted her here. With him.  
He wanted the office to smell of her again.  
He wanted the sound of her voice just outside his door.  
He stood and turned to the window behind his desk, opening it so that he could hear the buskers down on the street.  
He stayed there, with his arm braced on the window frame, forehead leaning against his arm, and closed his eyes, hoping to conjure Robin in his mind.  
There she was. Tall and lithe. Her long legs encased in black tights under a snug plum skirt, with low heeled boots boosting her slightly taller. Her amber hair swinging and draping against the silk of her beige blouse.  
He sighed with such bone deep longing. It felt like she’d been absent from his life for years. He couldn’t remember ever pining for anyone the way he’d been pining for her.  
His dream Robin smiled at him. Her rosebud mouth curving gently. Eyes sparkling as she reached out to him. She was so real he could smell her. The roses and jasmine of her perfume blooming in his senses.  
“Cormoran?”  
His head whipped around at the sound of his name, spoken in the softest tones of the most beautiful voice he’d ever heard.  
He was stunned to see her standing there. Her shoulders bared by the long bohemian style dress she was wearing, it was dark blue with white flowers blooming all over it, her hair was tied back in a rare pony tail.  
But her eyes, oh her eyes, shimmered silvery blue with unshed tears.  
Her bag landed with a dull thud next to her sandaled feet as he swept her into his arms, burying his face in her neck.  
“Well hello.” Her laugh was ripe and husky as he just nuzzled her neck with his mouth. He pressed kisses against that fragile skin and took a deep breath, holding the scent of her in his lungs before releasing it to breathe in another lungful.  
She was dangling in his grasp, though her arms had wrapped around his neck, one of her hands buried in his hair as he trailed small kisses along her neck, up to her cheek and across to her mouth.  
He closed his mouth gently over hers, determined not to rush her, but unable to stop himself from finally solving the mystery of her mouth.  
Her lips parted to allow his tongue to sweep in and meet hers. And she trembled in his arms.  
One of her hands slid forward to his cheek, brushing through the stubble of his beard and stroking with her thumb.  
He broke the kiss long enough to draw back and look into her eyes again.  
“You’re here. I’m not hallucinating?”  
She nodded, and he loosened his grip on her, allowing her body to slide slowly down against his until her toes reached the floor again.  
She laid her head against his chest, flattening her right hand against his heart. He covered her hand with his own, leaving his right arm to wrap around her small waist, holding her tightly to him as he rested his cheek against the top of her head.  
They stood there for longer than either was able to keep track of. Swaying to the faint sounds of the music below them.   
Each absorbing the feel of the other, reveling in the renewal of scents and the comforting warmth of their bodies pressed together as they had been only once before.  
Cormoran finally clasped her hand in his, drawing her away from him slightly, tilting her head up so he could meet her lips with his, before framing her small face with his massive hands.  
“I love you.” He kissed her slowly. Lips moving gently in a caress against hers.  
“Beyond reason.” Another kiss pressed this time to her forehead.  
“Beyond thought.” This kiss was pressed to the apple of her cheek.  
“I don’t want to be without you again.” He pulled back and met her eyes as they smiled into his.  
“You won’t be. I promise.” She smiled reassuringly at him. “I love you. So much.” She threw her arms around him again, laughing with unrestrained joy.  
And he knew, in that moment, that his life had just changed. His heart belonged to this woman laughing in his arms. With her tears and joy and fierce need to stand up for justice came a love so all encompassing, that he knew that he’d never be able to define it or quantify it. Her love was the sun, the moon and all the planets, deeper than the oceans and as light as the breeze blowing through his window.  
He knew he’d never have reason to question her love for him and he vowed to himself, there in their office, with his lips pressed to hers once more, he’d never give her a reason to doubt his.

**Author's Note:**

> I’d be happy to take other prompts/requests if you like. You can leave them here or find me on Tumblr as [RoseNoble9](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rosenoble9)
> 
> I’m in a bit of a block with Soho and I’m hoping that writing other little bits of these two might help loosen a few things there.


End file.
